TROUBLE AT THE IMMORAL HOTEL
“Last hotel on the list,” Doyle said dully.
“Last hotel full stop,” Bodie snapped. “Because if this isn’t the one, I’m booking myself in and staying the night whatever. What the hell are we looking for anyway?”
“Trouble,” Doyle said, repeating Cowley’s orders of that morning. “A hotel where there ‘might be trouble’. Very clear. Very explanatory.”
“It’s always trouble,” Bodie replied.
Doyle grabbed the side of his seat suddenly as Bodie flung the car without warning into the hotel’s narrow entrance with a frustrated wrench of the wheel. As it came to a standstill millimetres from the car in the next parking space, Doyle shot Bodie a look.
“Nicely done,” he said sarcastically.
Bodie was already out of the car and, as he followed, Doyle realised suddenly that the car they’d nearly hit was identical to Bodie’s. It looked quite sweet, Doyle decided - two silver Capris nose to nose with barely a finger’s width between them.
“Aw look, they’re kissing,” he said with a backward glance before following Bodie through the glass doors. Bodie gave him a bemused look.
There was no-one on reception so they headed left into the dining area.
“Seems pretty quiet,” Doyle observed.
“Yeah,” Bodie said, rather more interested in finding the bar than in hunting for Cowley’s mysterious ‘trouble’. “C’mon, let’s get a drink.”
As they reached the bar, they were deafened by a collective roar of maniacal laughter. A gaggle of women seated inexplicably around a trio of laptop computers, all appeared to have been struck with simultaneous onsets of hysteria.
“Wonder what they’re on?” Doyle asked.
“Whatever it is, we need it,” Bodie replied, turning his attention to the blonde barmaid who currently had her back to them.
“Two pints of bitter please, darlin’,” he said. “And quickly would be much appreciated.”
“All right, all right,” she said, without turning round. “I’m just a guest helping out. I'm not being paid for this y’kn-"
The last word was drowned by a shattering sound as the girl turned and dropped the glass she was holding, staring with widening eyes at the two men in front of her.
“Two p-" she started, helplessly.
“That’s right, sweetheart,” Doyle said, noticing with some surprise that his voice appeared to have the effect of making her legs wobble. Alcoholic, probably, he decided. “What’s your name?”
“D -" she began again.
“Well, ‘Duh’, can I have a pint, please?” Bodie said. “A man could die of thirst over ‘ere.”
He turned as another girl made her way towards him, making him look twice.
“Why, hello,” he said charmingly, admiring a pair of big brown eyes that had suddenly doubled in size on spotting him.
Doyle noticed that this girl, too, appeared to be struggling against an unmistakeable urge to swoon.
“Dinah,” the newcomer squeaked at last. “We’ve just started again. You coming through?”
Dragging her eyes away from Bodie as she handed him his pint, the blonde girl nodded dumbly.
“What’re you up to?” Doyle asked, conversationally, and the dark eyed girl seemed almost relieved to turn to him.
“We’re watching videos,” she said. “About - um - well, CI5, actually.”
Bodie spluttered into his pint.
“They’re making videos about us now?” he asked.
“What - like a docusoap or something?” Doyle chuckled. “This I have to see.”
Bodie looked at Doyle in amazement, then shrugged as the possibilities presented themselves.
“Whole group of you, you say?” he asked. “Room for a couple more?”
“I’m sure we could - squeeze you in….” the dark eyed one faltered, her mouth appearing to get stuck somehow on the last three words.
“Kate!” Dinah cried in a strangled tone but was unable to elaborate as Bodie gestured his glass towards her and winked suggestively.
There was a thud as Dinah hit the floor more quickly than the glass had.
Shrugging their shoulders at this, Bodie and Doyle followed Kate through to a comfortable lounge area where several people sat in front of a large screen. All women, Bodie noted approvingly.
“Now this sort of trouble I like,” he muttered to Doyle.
“Behave,” Doyle grinned. “We’re working.”
“Oh, I fully intend to go to work here,” Bodie smirked.
Once again, inexplicably, four new pairs of eyes widened as the partners entered. Doyle’s eye was caught immediately by a young redhead who had frozen, pen poised above a sheaf of papers.
“D -" she stuttered, transfixed by him.
“Must be a popular name round here,” Doyle said with a deep chuckle, his face creasing up at the edges in amusement.
“Think she means you, mate,” Bodie nudged him. Leaning over to the redhead, Bodie smiled his famous smile and held out his hand.
“He’s ‘D’, I’m ‘B’,” he said with a twinkle. “And you are?”
The spell appearing to be broken, the red haired girl managed to say: “Jennie. This is Sue … and Carol …”
“And I’m Joules,” a voice breathed, behind Doyle.
Turning, Doyle wondered how and why Joules had managed to slide in front of the door so quickly.
“We’re looking for trouble,” Bodie said with a grin. “You got any?”
Failing utterly to keep a look of overwhelming lust from her eyes as she glanced backwards and forwards between the two men, Joules surreptitiously turned the key in the lock behind her back.
“Carol?” she asked with an evil twinkle.
“I’m sure we can find you some,” Carol said.
“Watch her,” Kate warned Doyle. “She’s into horses.”
“She’d probably find you a bit disappointing, then, mate,” Bodie murmured almost inaudibly, with a lewd twitch of the eyebrows.
“We’re only here for the docusoap,” Doyle said hurriedly, slightly disconcerted by Joules’ convincing security guard posture by the door.
“The what?” Sue asked, appearing to struggle to enunciate even these two words. Her lips twitched and she tried hard not to lick them in desire as Doyle ran a distracted hand through his thick curls.
“The video you’re watching?” Doyle went on, beginning to wonder if this was, indeed, a hotel and not a safehouse for the seriously disturbed. “It’s about CI5, isn’t it?”
“Um,” Jennie explained, enlighteningly, pulling a video out of its case with trembling fingers.
Doyle sighed and sat down on the sofa next to Bodie, who had already arranged himself comfortably next to Kate.
“Stick it in,” Bodie said.
“Mmm, yes please,” Doyle thought he heard Joules and Carol murmur simultaneously, like a pair of slightly psychotic twins. He turned back to Jennie, who, he decided, looked the least likely to jump on him in a worrying manner.
“You sure you don’t mind us being here?” he asked her.
Jennie swallowed suddenly and Doyle noticed that her pupils had dilated drastically. Perhaps she hadn’t been the best choice in his search for sanity. He looked desperately at Sue, who leaned forward and put a hand on his thigh.
“Not at all, sweetheart,” she purred.
Doyle looked around in complete bemusement. He couldn’t remember ever having had this effect on women before - not even Marge and certainly not four of them at once. He glanced at Bodie for reassurance - if anyone would feel at home in this situation it would be Bodie, if you believed the stories he regularly fed Doyle to pass the time on tedious stakeouts.
Bodie did indeed appear to be feeling at home. He had his shirt unbuttoned and was showing Kate his latest injury as Kate told him in rather uneven sentences about her medical career. As she reached out eager fingers to the nearly healed wound just above Bodie’s hip, Doyle hoped to God she wasn’t a surgeon. She didn’t look steady enough to hold a pencil.
As Doyle attempted to concentrate on the screen, which appeared to be a dramatisation of a strange, futuristic looking CI5, he realised the women were coming closer. Joules had manoeuvred herself into a position where she could admire Bodie’s half exposed torso while maintaining a slightly over-friendly closeness to Doyle. Carol had moved across and perched between Bodie and Doyle on the sofa, while Sue and Jennie were leaning keenly forwards, speechless with delight.
Bodie lounged back into the sofa and surveyed the scene. As he drained his pint, grinning to himself, he wondered if he knew anyone who’d had five women at once. Somehow, he guessed not. Kate was in the bag, he was sure of it. The way her fingers had touched his bare flesh with a delicious tremble… Mmm, yes, she’d definitely get it. And now Carol had deliberately placed herself within reach … not to mention Joules’ hungry gaze. Yes, Bodie could feel his night shaping up very nicely.
Bodie’s eyes flicked away from the women momentarily and landed on a plateful of swiss roll which lay on the table. This evening just got better and better! He got to his feet and took his glass across the room, spying with another happy surprise a bottle of vodka and some tonic water.
“Let me,” Joules said, leaping across after him and taking the vodka from his hand. As she took it, her other hand seemed to inadvertently slide across the back of his black leather jacket, before brushing against his leg. Bodie grinned again. Two lined up, most definitely. At the thought of what might lie ahead, he began to realise that, effective though they seemed to be with the opposite sex, his tight black trousers were perhaps getting a little too tight all of a sudden.
He distracted himself with a mouthful of swiss roll and looked across at Doyle trying to handle what appeared to be a ruthless interrogation. Sue and Jennie’s tongues had certainly loosened since the strangled silence which followed the original introductions - now, in fact, they seemed to be positively hanging out. Bodie winked across at Kate, who was gazing at him soulfully, and rejoined his partner, who was half attempting to watch the screen.
As he watched, two pretty looking young men were picking a lock with an intricate gadget that appeared to do all the work for them.
“Why didn’t they just kick the door in?” Bodie asked in surprise. “What’s the point of that?”
“Apparently,” Doyle told him, “it’s the latest techonology.”
“Since when did we need technology to break a door down?” Bodie said. “What’s wrong with feet and credit cards?”
“Dunno,” Doyle said. “Doesn’t seem very realistic. And have you seen their headquarters? Bit of a fantasy if you ask me.”
Bodie munched cake and watched in mounting bemusement.
“And what are they all doing hanging round in the office?” he asked a little later. “Bloody hell! How many of them are there? What the hell are they doing? Don’t they know their place is on the streets?”
Doyle sighed again.
“It’s CI5 but not as we know it,” he said. “They’ll be flying off round the world in private jets next.”
“That’ll be the day,” Bodie said. “We ‘aven’t even had an upgrade from the Capri in 20 years.” He took a long swig of vodka. “Don’t look like they get beat up much, either, do they? And we don’t” - he suddenly interrupted himself with feeling - “get birds like that in the squad either!”
His voice dried up slightly as he stared at the young female CI5 agent on screen.
“You wish…” Doyle said, admiring Tina Backus’ legs.
Bodie, after a moment’s distraction, brought himself back to reality. And a very pleasant reality it was, too. He laid his hands on Kate and Carol’s thighs and looked cheekily at each of them in turn. Number three? he wondered, raising a suggestive eyebrow at Carol, who giggled excitedly, before Kate dragged his attention back with an insistent hand on his leg. Bodie wished she’d move her hand just a little further up…
Doyle, meanwhile, was feeling a little more relaxed with his mini-harem. Joules had furnished him with a very large vodka tonic and he was being charmed by Sue and Jennie’s questions. They seemed absolutely rapt in anything he said. He could do no wrong.
In fact, it all seemed a little too easy, and Doyle was beginning to wonder how you went about having an orgy. It seemed a bit of an administrative nightmare. Would there be enough space in one of these little hotel rooms? Or would some of them have to wait outside? Could they get away with doing it here? And how the hell could he get rid of Bodie? Maybe Kate would drag him off… Doyle realised suddenly he hadn’t heard much of what Jennie had just said to him and smiled at her warmly, gently brushing a stray lock of red hair back behind her shoulder. A visible tremor ran through her and Doyle’s smile became a grin.
Suddenly he felt hands in his hair and looked up to see Joules above him. She was massaging his scalp, something he enjoyed greatly, as Sue suggested he might be a bit warm and would he like her to remove his jacket. Come to think of it, he was getting a bit hot.
“Not just the jacket,” Jennie murmured to herself, then suddenly blushed as she realised he’d heard, before grinning evilly at him.
As Doyle looked from her to Sue and then to Joules and Carol, who appeared a little flustered, unsure which of the two agents to focus their attentions on, he realised they all had evil grins. Very evil grins. He began to feel slightly nervous. All very well wondering how to organise an orgy, but who was to say he’d be the one who got to organise it? Who knew what they might have in store?
Before he could untangle his conflicting feelings, Doyle heard a large crash. Leaping to his feet and going to the window, he saw a group of drunken men - apparently on a stag night, judging by the horrendous clothes and semi-naked appearance of one of their party - hurling something at the other Capri. They were staggering around laughing at a poster displayed in the window and appeared to be moving towards Bodie’s vehicle. As he watched, a large brick shattered the Capri's window.
“Bodie,” Doyle said. “I think we have got trouble!”
Bodie reluctantly looked up from a fascinating medical discussion with Kate on male recovery times and the female anatomy but made no attempt to move.
Doyle strode to the door and found Joules.
“Are we not trouble enough for you?” she said with a predatory gleam in her eye.
“I’m terribly sorry but we’ve got to go,” Doyle explained.
“Oh no you don’t, sunshine,” Carol said, grabbing his arm and pulling him onto her lap. As Doyle tried to shake her off he felt Jennie’s hands running through his hair, taking up where Joules had left off, and - accidentally, surely - Sue’s fingers sliding under his shirt, heading for his belt...
“Bodie!” he yelled, failing to drag his partner’s attention away from rampant fantasies about Kate and her smear clinic.
“No way out,” Bodie said vaguely, breaking off a long, sensuous kiss which left Kate gasping.
Joules stood firmly against the door and shook her head in glee.
Doyle and Bodie exchanged a glance, Doyle flicking his eyes in the direction of the open windows.
Bodie sighed resignedly. “On three, then,” he said at last.
Seconds later the two agents had broken free from the female clutches that held them and had leapt nimbly through the windows, pulling their guns as they landed a few feet from the vandals. The young louts scattered, piling into a nearby car. Barely waiting for Doyle to throw himself into the passenger seat, Bodie flung himself into the Capri and pulled away with an ear splitting screech and a puff of smoke.
Five women hung out of the windows and stared after them with undisguised frustration. Bodie caught a glimpse of them in his rear view mirror.
“Trouble,” he said wistfully, looking from the women to the car in front and back again. “I know which sort I’d rather be getting into.”
“Reckon we ‘ad a lucky escape, actually,” Doyle replied darkly with a small shudder. “Obsessive birds - not really my cup of tea.”
Bodie thrust his gearstick upwards, prompted by the pulsating throb of the engine, and sighed, mourning a lost opportunity.
© 2000 Di
© 2000 WordWrights.