Operation Susie...

20th - 22nd October 2000

The Applications...

Application form page 1       Application form Page 2

Responses: -


31st February '000 [Chya]
Depends on the age of the man I'd like to feel - so currently 30-9-70... [Jill]
N/A (I'm of an age when I should know better!) [Sue S]


Female - unless required otherwise... [Chya]
Ill ana atdb [Dinah]
Please! [Jo]
Who with? [Kate]
Bear [Lou]
Female (last time I looked...) [Sue S]
Preferably female. [Sue T]

Marital status:

...er... might be.... depends who's asking.... [Kate]
Have slave... [Tasha]


Age 5 - Miss Miniver's School for Demure Young Ladies (expelled age 6 for conduct unbecoming)
6-11 - St Trinians (expelled age 11 for hacking into mainframe to change personal details of staff - including gender of headmistress...)
11-16 - the School of Hard Knocks
16-18 - the School for Scandal
18-21 - the Kirk/Spock Institute for Slash Studies.

Primary - N/A.
Secondary - Lady Hari's Finishing School for Young Ladies (Berlin)
University - Political Science with Practical Applications BA (Hons)(Moscow)

Eanrrl ro ltob, eibbanbiba

When I was there!

BA (Hons) in 'The Life and Works of Chris Keel'
MA in 'The Lifestyles of Raymond Doyle'

Secondary - Marquis de Sade Instructor's School for Young Ladies
BA (Hons) InterMuscular Appreciation with Practical Pain Application.

...er... didn't have one. Primary - time spent in Igloo, brought up in a convent school and been rebelling ever since...
Double First in Skivving and Sex


They tried their best...

Sej (Wildcard)
76-82 - St Trinians (9 O Levels, 5 A Levels)
83-86 - Bristol University (BSC Maths/Comp Sci & Philosophy)
86 - current: IBM: numerous courses on communications, surveillance and infiltration.
87 - current: IGO (currently attained 7 kyn)
94 - current: London arsenal, specialising in French Weaponry.

Sue S
None. (That's why I'm so thick...)

Sue T
In my time I have taken courses from Campion, Poirot, James Bond, Modesty Blaise, Ellery Queen and Secret Squirrel.


Employment History:

Joined CI5 database section at a young and impressionable age (she hasn't been the same since) Specialised early on in misinformation techniques (aka the slash subcommittee) and responsible, with fellow agents, for maintaining many resources to assist in the work of our field agents in this endeavour. Limited experience in the field but hoping to remedy that - preferably with the more than able assistance of Agent Curtis (Red speedos optional.)

90-95 - Soviet Intelligence (Junior Planning Exec)
90-95 - CIA Field Operative
96-98 CIA secondment to SEALs for restricted ops
99-current: Target acquisition of CI5 operative 4.5

Iten ta iie

Able and willing...

Van driver (white van woman!)
Rat carer
Accounts clerk
List co-moderator

Have devoted my life to studying the Professionals and the New Professionals and all things related to them, and consequently I have no other employment to list.

Classified: Apply to XBranch/Chya Division for details.

Well, where do I start....

89-94 - Slave to the government in Far Eastern Harem
94-99 - St Victor's A&E
99-present - Dedicated surgical and post-operative care and convalescence of agents 3.7 and 4.5

Honey collection
Terrorising women with golden locks
.... or men with silver-green eyes....

Mostly for an underground organisation but please don't delve too deeply into those blank spaces...

82-83 - IBM (Portsmouth) - Personnel.
83-84 - IBM ( " ) undercover contracts
85 - IBM (Soton) Cyber decoding
86-88 - IBM (Basingstoke) Cypher contracts and public infiltration
86 - Yugoslavia - undercover (classified)
88 - Africa - undercover (classified)
90-92 - Europe - undercover (classified)
93 - Canada - undercover (classified)
94-98 - Satellite/GPS comms research
98-present - Cyberspace - intelligence gathering

Sue S
Only works for the higest payer.

Sue T
Ah, well, no actual job as such, but with all the theory work I've done I'm sure if you give me a chance I'll pick it up in no time!

Contract work mostly, and they never found the weapons....

Specialist Qualifications:

Ability to twist the vaguest of evidence to support misinformation directive. Advanced diploma in ocular recognition (green level): Level Six in hand-to-hand (and mouth-to-mouth) combat: Honours graduate in advanced angst and psychological torture.

Small arms - intermediate
Bone-jumping - advanced
Anti-paralytic alcohol consumption

MSc (Oxon) Advanced Meaningless Codes

Eldest of seven children.
Speaks Urdu, dog and cat.
Able to play peacemaker
Skilled in the art of 'one-up-manship'.

Rat trainer. Computer wrecker.

Green eyes (will that do?)
Also good hand/eye coordination from gun training.

Explosives - Intermediate.
Crunching of ex-SEALs - advanced
Dimple Dribbling - advanced
Ducati-spotting - Advanced
Martial Arts - Black Belt

Green(ish) eyes, speaks complete bollocks fluently...

Repair and comfort of ex-Navy SEALs/Bodie.
Conservation of American agents
Grounding of over-entusiatic fanfic writers
Post-mutilation comfort and cuddling of blue-eyed and blue-eyed and dimple-clad boys (aka Bodie and Chris.)

Paw to paw combat (especially with ex-MI6 agents)
Making porridge (and spreading it over English CI5 agents)
Specialised camouflage techniques (great at blending in in forests)

Exceptional night vision. Believe me, it comes in useful!

Languages - some french, Spanish, German, Japanese, Latin. Also wide range of computer languages and operating systems. Current speciality comms between diverse systems. Some cypher experience.
Weaponry - Longbow (county champion), Rifle, London's Arsenal. Extensive undercover experience.

Sue S
I can walk (sometimes)

Sue T
Telepathy, Telekinesis, Teleportation, Reading, Relaxing, Retail Therapy. And a very powerful stare I learned from Paddington Bear.

Hieroglyphs (see handwriting....)
Ability to confuse all Europeans by attempting to speak their language

And finally - crunch time, people! -
So you want to join CI5? Why?

I feel that although I have extensive office-based experience I really need to develop my "hands-on" technique, especially "hands-on" certain dark-haired, green-eyed, really-needs-to-wear-tight-black-clothes-more-often English agents. Obervational skills have been honed to perfection, as have hair-trigger reflexes (on the remote during Hostage and Samurai Wind) but I would like the opportunity to practise these skills live.

For the advancement of currently required skills regarding the acquisition and seduction (in reverse order) of specified personnel within the structure of the organisation - also the ongoing improvement of bone-jumping skills.

Rrrs &ubeatra ias rab T'd irasbbtar iwrua. (If you're really bored or really sad & fancy cracking the code, count the letters in "I was born tall, dark and beautiful" and have a think....)

It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wanted to see the world
I was coerced by a man with grey-green eyes and a charming smile!

Well, I didn't really, but I was told to complete this form!
But seriously, I want to drive a silver or gold Capri and wear a sheepskin jacket or a woolly cardigan and shout 'Oi!' while being pummelled by Macklin.
I want to be called 'Tinkerbell' and be able to make non-PC racist remarks without problems.
If I am forced to join the International CI5 I will learn to type with two fingers & wear a baseball cap backwards (A la Backup in First Strike)
I assume I will also have to live adjacent to a cemetary but this is OK as I am not afraid of ghosts.

Jennie (who is totally devoted to CI5 already....)
To make sure this sceptred isle stays clean...

To gain first-hand experience in the observation of dimple- and pectorially-enhanced angels, specifically of the blue-eyed variety, with the eventual ambition to escalate into bone-jumping and seduction.

Shaggable men (mostly)
Adrenaline junkie
Like playing with toys, guns, fast cars and boys...

1) To become Sam Curtis's own cuddly bear.
2) I would make a great official CI5 Mascot - little white leather jacket, shades, crap driving technique (that's me, not the bear...)

To make the world a better place.
Oh, yeah - and to drive fast cars, shoot people, and make things go ka-boom!

I wish to work for an employer who will appreciate my talents and experience and provide opportunities to broaden them. I believe I work well under stress, am good at spotting inconsistencies and non-obvious connections, and have an aptitude for solving problems.

Sue S
Better than being in the dole queue....

Sue T
Because I want to make the world a better place especially for children and small furry animals.
Because roses and lavender are my two favourite smells.
Because long stakeouts would enable me to catch up on my reading.
Oh sod it! Truth is best.... Ok... Two words - Ray Doyle...

The men! The men! The men and the woman! Did I mention the men?

You're all hired. Report to Macklin next Tuesday.

© 2000 Joules Taylor & Carol Good

© 2000 WordWrights.

Operation Susie