Operation Susie...

20th - 22nd October 2000

I'm sure that wasn't in the script...

"Is this what they mean by getting your rocket off?" [Alyse]
"Are you supposed to fire this or ram it up.... or both?" [Chya]
"Remind me - where does this go again?" [Jennie]
"Bet this was what Cowley meant when he said he was going to put a rocket up their backsides!" [Jill]
"Never thought I'd get my hands on one that big!" [Jo]
"When they said it was big, I didn't think they meant BIG!!" [Heather]
"Bodie, how big did you say yours was?" [Kate]
"Cor, this is a big one! Should I fire it now or wait for bonfire night?" [Pubsy]
"Oooh, that's a big one..." [Lou]
"Oh, thanks guys - it's just what I wanted." [Lynn]
"I hate these telescopic umbrellas..." [Sue S]
"They won't call me anything as wimpy as 'Shotgun' Tommy after this!" [Sue T]
"Guess where this is going..." [Wildcard]
"Now we can't go any further without a Bombdon." [Tasha]

"And you would be a... woman, right?" [Alyse]
"Are these real, love?" "More real than yours, buster!" [Chya]
"I just need to debrief you." "But those aren't my briefs!" [Jennie]
"Hey, that 'Wax & Go' works really well, doesn't it? Perhaps I should try it on my next undercover job." [Jill]
"So that's why women are different!" [Jo]
"What do you mean, where's my stethoscope?" [Heather]
"Hmmm. Think you should try a 36C instead..." [Kate]
"What a lovely pair! Did you grow them yourself?" [Pubsy]
"Ah, I see you shop at M&S lingerie department..." or "No, there isn't an emergency ripcord to inflate!" [Lou]
"Don't worry - no-one will notice you in the next two episodes if you keep your clothes on!" [Lynn]
"Would that be a double D, madam?" [Sue S]
"Thank you Emma, that's all fine. Just pop back next month for another check up." [Sue T]
"Your heart is beating strangely fast - I think this calls for closer examination..." [Wildcard]
"Cross Your Heart by Playtex QA inspections are quite normal." [Tasha]

"So tell me, Chris, can you hear music? Madonna, right?" (Vogue playing in the background...)[Alyse]

"Hey Sam, do you ever get the feeling we're being watched?"
"No, why do you say that?"
"Well, there's a bloody great camera over there."
"Ten out of ten for observation skills, Keel, they're here to film the elephants."
"Then why did they spend so much time taking closeups at the pool?" [Chya]

"Just think what you could do with a trunk like that?" "It's not the trunk I'm looking at..." [Jennie]
"Don't look now, but I think we're surrounded." [Jill]
"My jeep's bigger than yours!" [Jo]
"What d'you mean, where's he putting his trunk?" [Heather]
"What d'you mean, Malone's making us walk home?" "Well, you trashed the plane, Chris..." [Kate]
"Sam, smile when you're on camera." "I prefer to pout." [Pubsy]
Woman's Weekly Knitting Pattern #219. or "What do you mean, that elephant's trunk looks familiar?" [Lou]
"Don't look now but I think we're being tailed..." [Lynn]
"How long do we have to stand in front of these bloody elephants?" [Sue S]
"That's the third coachload of tourists in the last hour. I never realised elephants were so popular." [Sue T]
"A jumbo what...?" [Wildcard]
"Don't look now but I think those elephants are posing." [Tasha]

"OK! OK! I won't borrow your Hugo Boss suit again without asking!" [Alyse]
"Stop eating f***ing garlic with your frog's legs, Curtis!" [Chya] "Told you you should have had the prunes for breakfast!" [Jennie]
"Curtis, get that damn elephant off my foot!" [Jill]
"Did they crack your tooth too?" [Jo]
"Sorry, didn't mean to be that rough!" [Heather]
"Push..... Don't push, OK, breathe.... One more push should do it.... It's a boy!" [Kate]
"What do you mean, 'it hurts'? I told you not to mess with Backup when she's got PMT..." [Pubsy]
"Don't cry - it's only a pair of Hugo Boss trousers. We can always buy you another pair." [Lou]
"You had to say 'Fuck Backup - I'm going in' where she could hear you!" [Lynn]
"Sam, your bedside manner sucks!" [Sue S]
"Chris, I told you not to suggest life was better under Cowley." [Sue T]
"Oh don't be such a baby!" [Wildcard]
"If you put your tongue in my ear once more I'll rip it out! Now is not the time or place." [Tasha]

© 2000 Joules Taylor & Carol Good

(Photographs © Granada TV & DWTV - I think! We just borrowed 'em....)

© 2000 WordWrights.

Operation Susie